


Lori

by AquaCitty



Category: Sander Sides, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Evil Deceit, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I swear this is actually good, M/M, Patton is punny, Roman can be an ass, Self Harm, Trans!Logan, Virgil is a sweetheart, could be gayer, give me attention!, logan is lori, pleaseeeee, queer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-02-17 16:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13080753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaCitty/pseuds/AquaCitty
Summary: Logan has always been different, he isolated himself from his emotions, but that is just because his emotions have only ever cause him sadness, pain, and a insatiable desire... for something. But soon he started to question, if Thomas is a boy, he must be too... right?Lori’s life is far from perfect, it has been a year, a year since she became Lori, and everyday it becomes harder, and harder to tell the others. Sometimes she wonders if she ever will. That is until someone finds her, and her already crazy world turns upside down.





	1. Hide

**Author's Note:**

> So this was something I started to get over writers block, but I ended up writing 4000 words, so I figured I post it here. If there is anything I get wrong in regards to trans issues please tell me what it is and how I can fix it. I’m not trans myself, so if I get something wrong I’m really sorry. Ok I think that’s it, please enjoy.
> 
> Ok also trigger warnings for gender dysphoria and self- transphobia

Logan had always felt different. He hated his name, his life, it felt like he was living a lie. Icky emotions bombarded him whenever the others would address him, and he shut himself off more and more. The only way he could be normal was to shut off his emotions, to act like a robot, but his anger would find a way out anyway, whether screaming at Patton or Roman, or in more unhealthy ways after everyone, even Virgil had gone to bed. This changed when Thomas found a friend in Rose. He was never good at identifying traits in people, and had been shocked when Patton told him that Rose was not born female. From then on an idea sprouted into his head, a dangerous idea. If Thomas is a boy, surely he is aswell… right?

Lori sighed, loosening her necktie once more. It felt so tight around her neck, like it was suffocating her. She knew, of course, that logically that could not be the case, but she had come to accept the strange ways gender dysphoria would affect her.  
“Logan? Where is he?” Romans voice called from the living room, her incorrect name and pronouns ripping her way from her thoughts.  
Lori adjusted her shirt once more, grimacing at her flat chest, before briskly leaving her room.  
“Ah! Logan, you finally made it.”  
Lori mustered a half-smile before responding.  
“I offer my apologies for being late, I was just…”  
She trailed off, not sure what excuse would be accepted in this social situation. _People are too complex_ , she thought bitterly.  
Thankfully Roman had picked back up the conversation, and nobody noticed Lori’s slip up.  
“Lo? Logan?” Another voice drifted into Lori’s mind, it was Patton.  
“Excuse me, I am not feeling very productive today, and I must of… spaced out. Is that correct term?” Lori tried to hide her fear with a monotone voice, it must of worked as with a reassuring shoulder squeeze Patton’s focus went back to Roman.  
_My goodness_ , Lori thought, exasperated as she continued failing to retain any information Roman was relaying to the group, _What is wrong with me today?_  
“Logan?” Virgil said, well anxiously, “Is he alright?”  
Lori visibility winced when Virgil said “he”.  
“You alright there nerd?” Roman asked slowly, taken aback by Logan’s extreme reaction to Virgil inquiry, also trying his best to contain his extravagant nature.  
Lori felt all their stares boring in to her.  
“Why, I must inquire, has the attention turned to myself?” Lori steadied her voice. Arranging her face into, what she hoped was, a sarcastic and quizzical look.  
“You… kind did this thing, kiddo…” Patton looked up concern showing on his face. “Like- like this…” Patton stared into the distance before contorting his face into a strange position strongly reminiscent of a dying cat.  
_Dear God, I hope I didn’t look like… that!_ Lori thought frantically.  
“Well it wasn’t that… violent… but, it was certainly disconcerting.” Roman up piped hastily  
“Disconcerting? What is with you and big words lately, honestly!” Lori seethed.  
Lori looked nervously around the room, everything was too bright, too loud, every worried word the others spoke cut into her head.  
“Stop!” She whispered-shouted as to not worsen her own condition.  
The others looked up, surprised.  
“What?! Why?!” Roman exclaimed loudly, obviously insulted at Lori’s interruption.  
Yet he looked even more alarmed when Lori clutched her head, hissing in pain.  
“Excuse me,” Lori hated the quiver in her voice  
“It seems that I am suffering from a migraine,” she spouted with fake confidence.  
Lori stumbled out sight, and once she knew the other couldn’t see her she sprinted to her room.  
The room usually gave her an immediate sense of calm, very useful for when being Logan just became too much. But today she was too frantic to notice, and quickly slammed the door, panting. A wave a nausea washed over her, and she ripped off that stupid tie, and her navy shirt and tan pants followed soon after. Taking a second to breathe she picked up the clothes slowly and walked towards the back of the room where two blue doors stood next to each other. She opened the darker blue door revealing a small closet containing 3 almost identical outfits to the one crumpled up her hands. She quickly stuffed the clothes in the closet making a mental note to iron and fold them later. Then she moved towards the second door. This door was Sky blue, and a small smile appeared on Lori’s as she reached for a key on a necklace hanging around her neck. She opened the door to reveal a long walk in closet, with everything for everyday girls clothes, to costumes, to ball gowns, and even small section of panties, and bras. Lori’s meek smile had become a full on grin as she moved towards the outfits. Eventually, after about an hour of trying on clothes, she had settled on an electric blue bralette, with a black lace/sheer top, and cute blue jeans. After that she applied a minimalistic amount of makeup, just mascara with a light blue eyeshadow, and a pinkish-nude lip. Finally she stepped back to admire her work. Smiling widely she grabbed long black wig to finish the look. She sighed sinking back into the bed, it was a bitter-sweet moment for her. She loved this, when she could really be Lori, be her true self. But she also knew in less than an hour the others would come and knock on her door, and she’d change and become Logan once again. At least that’s what happened almost everyday for years, but today was different.  
“Hey, Logan…?” Virgil’s voice drifted through the door.  
Lori looked up, frowning, this was certainly unusual, Virgil never checked up on the logical facet. She dismissed it with a sigh, the door was locked, she had nothing to worry about.  
“Yes Virgil?” She inquired.  
“So… uh…” Virgil cleared his throat, awkwardly, “Are you… okay?”  
“I assure you, I am not experiencing any negative emotions, or feelings currently.”  
“Look… I hate when you guys do this, but I can’t stand talking to a door so I’m coming in…”  
Lori knew the door was locked, so she wasn’t too afraid. Moving to the mirror she started to adjust her black wig, smiling as styled the bangs, but then she heard a click. The door starting opening…THE. DOOR. WAS. OPENING!  
_Oh fu- this is bad, this really bad._ Lori thought desperately.  
She covered her mouth to keep from screaming, but other than that she was frozen in shock. The door closed with a final click, sealing her fate. She felt Virgil’s stare but she kept turned away from him, silent tears had started trailing down her face.  
_He knows, he knows. He thinks you’re a freak, you are a freak. You can never do this again. You aren’t logical, you’re far from it… Are those fucking tears?! You disgust me. You’ll never be Lori again. You’re Logan, accept that you fag. You will never be Lori again. Never never never never never._ Lori’s thoughts attacked her, she wanted them to stop, until they did, something stopped them. A voice to be more specific. His voice, Virgil’s voice.  
“Who are you?”  
———————————— 


	2. Best friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori is petrified when Virgil finds her in her room. How will Virgil react, will he help calm Lori down, or just add to her panic?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m an angst writer first and foremost, but please enjoy my attempt at fluff and the beggining of a relationship. :D

Virgil was getting tired of talking to Logan through the door, and decided to come in. He felt bad barging in, but he knew somehow that Logan needed someone right now, and though he probably wasn’t the best candidate, he was all Logan had. The door opened and closed with soft click, and Virgil looked up, expecting to see Logan on his bed, or at his desk, but he definitely wasn’t expecting this. A girl. With long, black hair, standing frozen in place, turned away from him. Small sniffles escaped the girl’s mouth.  
Oh my god, she shaking. Virgil thought guilty, as if he was one to blame.  
Wait, where’s Logan? Another thought entered his mind Fuck! I can’t see him anywhere…!  
“W-what did you do w-with Logan?” His voice was shaking  
“What did you do with him?!” Virgil’s voice came back, this time with a lot more vengeance.   
She didn’t move, but her tears increased.  
“I have to get the others…” Virgil whispered out loud.  
The girl stopped shaking, she turned slowly, her bangs covering her face. Virgil looked at her intently, she looked… familiar?  
“No” the whisper was quiet and horse, it was lower than Virgil had expected. It also sounded strangely familiar…  
“P-Pat-Patton! R-Roman!” Virgil stuttered.  
“No!”   
The girl finally looked up, and Virgil recognized her.  
“Logan?!” He yelled incredulously.  
A look of conflict passed on… his? her? thier? face and slowly… she? he? they?nodded.  
“Yes”  
Virgil almost laughed taking in Logan’s outfit, but stopped as soon as he saw her expression. It was one of pure terror, just seeing it was enough to send a shiver down Virgil’s spine.   
“Oh Logan…” his voice was filled with so much worry and concern.  
Lori couldn’t take it, her nervous energy draining from her all at once. Curling into a ball she sobbed, but silently like she always had to, so the others wouldn’t hear. Virgil was shocked to see so much raw sadness on the usually emotionless trait’s face. It broke his heart.   
“Logan…” Virgil crouched down, awkwardly curling his arms around logical side.  
She quickly pulled him closer, clinging to him like a lifeline.  
“I’m sorry” she whispered.  
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Virgil fraught to keep his growing alarm from entering his voice.  
“I’m a freak. I understand if you hate me. You should hate me.”  
“What! No! Logan!” Virgil couldn’t keep the alarm from his voice this time, and he almost missed her wince when he said “Logan”.  
Virgil put two and two together.  
“Your name isn’t Logan… is it? You’re not a boy.”  
She nodded, another look of overwhelming self-hatred and disgust washed over her features, before she buried her face in Virgil’s surprisingly soft hoodie once more.   
“What’s your name, and pronouns?” He cooed softly.  
“You don’t care. I’m a freak”   
“I do care”   
There was a long pause, neither one dared to break it.  
“Fine…” She spoke up finally, “If I tell you will you leave me alone?”  
Virgil contemplated this for a second.  
“No,” he paused “But it’s a start”  
“I uh- like to go by… um… she/her pronouns” She looked up, ready for a disgusted, or extremely confused Virgil, but as she met his eyes she could only see an understanding, albeit slightly fearful look reflected back at her.  
“And my name is-“ She stopped.  
She had never told anyone her name before, so this was quite a pivotal moment.  
“Lori.” The name rolled off her tongue.  
She almost giggled, it sound so carefree, and simple, unlike saying her given name. Logan was heavy, hard, rusty, it was sadness and anger. Lori was new, exciting, and it was happiness.   
“Lori?” Virgil said softly, “I like it.” He decided firmly  
“I’m glad,” Lori sniffed.   
She moved away from the hug quietly, not used to so much contact. Virgil let her go instantly, he was not one to fuck around with people’s personal space. She laughed softly, and it was like music to Virgil’s ears.  
“It’s Latin, the meaning of the name Lori is a Laurel tree or sweet bay tree which are symbols of honour and victory… neither of which I possess right now”  
“Hey you told me.. that must’ve taken a lot of guts… I’m proud of you.” Virgil’s cheeks turned a soft pink at the last admittance and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Just then a knock was heard at the door.  
“Fuck” Virgil said, regretting it instantly.  
“Young man. What did you just say?!” Patton voice rang out from the other side of the door.   
“Nothing Patton…” Virgil mumbled.  
Maybe this is a good thing… Virgil thought to himself quietly, then he looked at Lori. Shit, definitely not a good thing. Oh god he- she’s shaking again!   
“Hey you guys alright in there? Any villains I must vanquish, because I will defeat them for Logan…” This time it was Romans confident voice coming through the door “and Virgil aswell, of course” he added hastily.  
“Uhh… we’re fine- you can go now.” Virgil told them quickly.  
“Now don’t be silly, I’m coming in kiddo’s” Patton’s voice again.  
“No!” Lori’s voice came out confidentially.  
Virgil looked down shocked, she was will still shaking, tears falling down her face. Yet she sounded calm and collected, just like Logan. Virgil griminced. How long had she hid her feelings like this, telling the other she was fine, when really is was just a brave face?  
“The basic facts of the summary go like this; I had a migraine, Virgil checked on me, and, as I had not had the opportunity to gain the optimal amount of hours of sleep last, I was napping. Virgil presumed the worst, and I had to calm him down after waking up. It was as simple as that, but I would prefer if you could all leave so I could continue my nap.”   
Virgil heart broke more at Lori’s excuse. It was so precise, and plausible. It certainly could of happened, and it got him wondering again. How many times has she done this, she obviously had a lot of practice, too much practice. Virgil, though he wasn’t one for physical contact, felt a huge temptation to tackle Lori with a hug (huh this must be what Patton feels like all the time). After a few seconds they heard shuffling on the other side of the door.  
“Que tengas una buena siesta” Roman said quietly.  
He may be a pain in the you know where sometimes, but at least he (usually) knows when to tone it down. There was more shuffling as he left, off to save another damsel in distress.  
“I still have no clue how he knows Spanish…” Lori suppressed a giggle.   
Virgil was surprised, the Logan he knew would just fume about any superior intellect the prince possessed.  
“Night night kiddo…”  
“Patton you are aware it is mid afternoon?” Logan sounded confused, “is that a phrase?”  
“Huh, I thought you would of known that one… well, sweet dreams then.”  
“Wait Patton could you… uh-?”  
“Notecard?” Patton chuckled.  
Lori smiled slightly, her face looked bittersweet, is if caught in a memory.   
“That would be satisfactory, thank you Patton”  
“Course kiddo.” Patton chuckled, “love you.”  
“I reciprocate your feelings Patton. Good… night?”  
“Yeah exactly! Night Lo.”  
It was harder to tell when Patton had left as he hardly made any noise. Once they were completely sure he had left they both had a collective sigh of relief. VIrgil looked over at Loga- Lori, and smiled a soft smile, which she hesitantly returned.   
“So… this is me. You’re really okay with this?”  
“Of course nerd. You’re supposed to be the smart one, i don't know how you didn’t figure it out.” Virgil smirked.  
“Falsehood!” Lori cried indignantly.  
Virgil looked up surprised, afraid he had hit a nerve. Lori held a furious face for a few seconds before dissolving into high-pitched giggles.  
“I’m sorry,” she said between laughs “It's just you should have seen your face.”  
“Oh my god, you really are a girl!”  
“Yup.” She said sounding unnerving like Patton.  
“Stop laughing!” Virgil said, fighting off a grin himself, “C’mon you’re the logical one! I thought you hated emotions.”  
“Don’t you remember when we were little?”  
Virgil shook his head.   
“Oh my goodness! You weren’t there that’s right!” Lori looked up her eyes comically wide, “I was completely myself then, I would wear dresses, and skirts, but it didn’t feel strange. I wasn't just logic, I was curiosity too, I mean I still am, technically, I just don't focus on it too much, you know, it can be kinda...painful? Oh! I remember Roman would join me sometimes, I mean he was walking in heels before me! Oh yeah, Patton had a dress too! It was so beautiful,” she paused to think quickly (and breathe) before continuing “I have one like in in my closet, oh I have to show you that too sometime. Anyways Patton’s dress was great it was mainly a dove gray color, with this gorgeous blue-grey lace that complemented it so well!” Lori’s eyes looked off dreamily, and Virgil took a second to process.  
“O-kay, so what happened?” Virgil asked softly  
The hope in Lori eyes slowly faded, and a certain sad maturity appeared in them.  
“As school progressed I got more, and more into my work. At some point I decided that I considered wearing girls clothes, unlogical, and therefore I shouldn’t engage in such frivolous activities. By the time I had really started to question this constant… uncomfortableness, I had locked those carefree memories away. I’m working on accepting the fact I can be more than just logic… but its hard, that’s why emotions are so hard for me. I shut myself off to keep away the feelings that ate at me, but I ended up with the unfortunate side-effect of never being able to truly understand emotions, but like many things I’m working on it.”   
“I had no idea…”  
“Patton knows about the emotion thing… he helps me with it, with the notecards. He still thinks I’m mostly emotionless, but at least he doesn’t think I’m heartless…”  
“Log- Lori,” Virgil corrected himself, “Nobody ever thought you were heartless. You’re the closest thing I have to a best friend…” Virgil trailed off, realizing what he had just said.  
“Really?”  
“Well, yeah. I mean Roman takes pleasure by insulting me to my face in front of you guys… and Patton, I love the guy, but he never stops…”  
“Oh! Oh no! I’m not doing that right now am I!” Lori looks at him with deep concern.  
“Oh my god, you’re turning into Patton!” Virgil laughed  
“Falsehood!” Lori acts affronted.  
“Oh my god, you’re such a sap! You’re literally a slightly more collected version of him!” Virgil cackles  
“Crap! You’re right! What have I done?!” Lori dramatically flops onto the bed placing her hand on her heart with a cry.   
“Now you’re Roman, but bad at acting.” Virgil lies down next to her.  
“Shut up!” Lori lifts up a pillows to hit him, but Virgil flinches away.  
“Sorry” Lori says quietly, resting her head back on the pillow instead.   
It was comfortable silence, but Lori didn’t mind when Virgil broke it.   
“That’s why.”  
“What?” Lori asks, bewildered.  
“The pillow thing. That’s why you’re my best friend…”  
“Could you elaborate?”  
“I didn’t want you to hit me, and you noticed, put down the pillow and said… ‘sorry’. Just sorry, not making a big deal out of it like Patton, or ignoring my reaction and still hitting me like Roman might. Just sorry, that’s why you’re my best friend.”  
“Aww. You’re a sap too!” Lori giggled, cuddling into Virgil’s side.   
Lori half expected him to protest, but he didn’t, in fact he lifted his arm and brought her closer.  
“Am not.” He mumbled half-heartedly.   
Although it was only around noon they both fell into a deep sleep that brought them into tomorrow.   
————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love analogical fluff, I just can’t, oh my gosh, too cute <3


	3. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings as Lori are amazing, but waking up next to someone who knows and accepts her was even better. That is until she has to convince not only herself, but him to let her be Logan again. It’s so hard it hurts her, so she does the only thing she can think of doing. She runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So fluff is awesome and I have a bit here (and loads in the last chapter) so I thought it was time for some angst again, I told you, I wrote angst, I can’t help, I’m sorry.

Lori woke up feeling the most well rested she had been in a while. Yawning she crept out of bed, only to take a double take. Someone was in her bed! Her thoughts became frantic, and suddenly the events of yesterday bombarded her mind.   
He knows, Lori thinks surprised, he knows and he’s okay with it. She smiled delightfully, and crawled on the bed to shake him awake.   
“Virgil…” she whispered.  
He made an adorable noise of protest before rolling over.   
“Virgil!” She laughed shaking him gently again.  
“No…” he mumbled before rolling off the bed completely with a crash.  
“What the fuck?!” He cried, shooting up.   
Lori eyes went wide, and she rushed over him.  
“Are you alright?!” Lori yelled guilty  
“Hey, hey, it’s okay! I’m alright.” Virgil smiled lopsidedly “That’s a hell of a way to wake up though… will that happen every morning?”  
Lori face blushed pink at the implication of more mornings like this, Virgil quickly noticed and stuttered over an apology.  
“N-not that I’m saying there’ll be more morning l-like this… not that I don’t want to! I do! I mean p, but like only if you-”   
“I would love to do this again…” She smiled sweetly before her grin turns a tad malicious as a fun idea occurred to her.   
“I mean that was the best sleep in my life.” She walked over to her closet and winked flirtily at Virgil.   
“W-what?” It was Virgil’s turn to blush.  
“Sorry, I just never get to flirt with cute guys… oops, I did it again.” Lori giggles lifting off her shirt, leaving her in just jeans and a bralette.  
Virgil turns away completely red by this point and shielding his eyes. Of course he’d seen Lori shirtless before, I mean they’d been close friends for over ten years, but that was as Logan, and suddenly he felt very self-conscious.   
Lori moved over to the darker blue door, looking at it with calculated disdain.   
“Virgil, you can look now.” Lori cleared her throat, her voice changing into one Virgil knew very well.  
Virgil looked over to Lori, and although Virgil had only really known her for a day, she seemed off.   
“Lori?” He asked quietly.  
“Please do not address as Lori now, you shall call me by my given name. Logan.”   
“I don’t get it…” Virgil eyes narrow suspiciously, “Was this all a sick joke…?”  
“What?” Lori stare softened, and her voice took an a different tone, “No, I am Lori… it’s just I can’t be Lori during the day… and it’s too-”  
“But you know the others won’t mind!” Virgil protested quickly.  
“No… you don’t”   
Virgil hesitated, he knew the others would feel the same about Lori as he did, but the her petrified face was still bouncing around in his mind. Lori looked at Virgil intently.   
“You won’t tell them? Will you?” Lori stared at Virgil with a mighty rage.  
Virgil looked down guilty, not meeting Lori’s gaze.  
“Virgil!” She yelled, sudden urgency welling up in her voice.  
The combination of fear, anger and sadness in her voice had somehow destroyed Virgil’s willpower.  
“Ok! Fine!” He quietly admitted defeat.  
“Thank you! Thank you! A million times thank you!” She moved forward impulsively, kissing Virgil cheek.  
He froze.   
Lori pulled away instantly, guilt filling her.  
“Oh fu- fudge! I’m so sorry, I got excited!”.  
“No… it’s okay.” Virgil whispered, cheeks burning.   
And strangely it was actually okay, the touch felt strange, but not jarring and uncomfortable like it usually did. It felt warm and comforting.  
“What?” Lori giggled sweetly.  
Virgil realized he was smiling, and slid on his signature defensive smirk.  
“What are you looking at?” He growled   
Virgil definitely expected her to take offense, but instead she laughed.   
“Don’t worry I’ve learnt not to take your snarky comments to heart.” She smiled warmly, catching Virgil’s confused glance.   
“Oh god Virgil, why are you doing this to me!” She groaned  
“Huh…? What’d I do?” Virgil’s voice was halfway between accusing and concerned, shifting more towards concerned as Lori let out at hollow laugh.   
“You’re just going to make it so hard to be Logan... But I have to try.” Lori looked downcast, but a fierce determination grew in her as Virgil started to object. “And before you say anything, yes I do have to be Logan. I’ve accepted it, so should you.”   
She squared her shoulders and cleared her throat. The voice that came out of her after that was so completely void of emotion Virgil literally shuddered as she spoke.  
“By the way Virgil the correct pronunciation from your last statement is ‘what did I do?’ instead of ‘what’d I do?’, i thought you are above incorrect sentences such as that.” Lori’s sweet smile morphed into a egotistical smirk and she started towards the door.  
“Lori wait!” Virgil called quickly, grabbing  
She flinched, just as had yesterday when Virgil called her Logan, yet she didn’t pull her arm away, seeming frozen on the spot.   
“Logan, please call me Logan.” She whispered, emotions seeping back in her voice.  
These emotions were new, she didn’t like them, she had never had to convince someone else to call her Logan. The experience was incredibly painful, and she just wanted it to end.   
“But your name isn’t Logan!”   
“I know.” She almost sobbed.  
The pain was now ripping her apart. It hurt, it hurt so much, she just wanted to stop. So without thinking she pulled her arm away from Virgil and ran. She was running, running as far as she could. She ignored Virgil cries of alarm, and ran, and ran, and ran. She just wanted to get away, away from the pain. She wanted it to stop, it hurt, it hurt so much. And it did stop, eventually, the sharp pain went away, leaving an aching, throbbing pain in her very core. So she kept running, now ignoring her own thoughts. Thoughts of worthlessness, and cowardice. Thoughts that told her she was a freak and a monster. Until she blindly ran into something. Wait, no… she ran into someone.   
“Virge?” She whimpered hopefully.  
“No, try again.” The voice whispered.  
She just couldn’t make out who.  
“Pat?” The hope in her voice faltered.  
“One more time.”  
It was Roman.  
F*ck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dat cliffchanger tho! (I’m sorry I’ll stop being so cringy) I wonder how Roman will react to Lori? Or will he even find out! Read it in the next chapter! (Dat self promo tho! Ok I’m seriously have to stop... I have a problem...) Ok then. Until next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals, peace out! 
> 
> P.S the 12 days of Sanders sides Christmas was hilarious, just thought I’d put it out there...
> 
> P.P.S feel free to point out mistakes, my beta (ahem, ahem, you know who yo are) never reads my stuff, so mistakes slip through. Alright I’m actually done! Bye <3


	4. Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori runs into Roman, and her encounter with him pushes her over the edge after some thought she decides it time to take back a nasty habit she thought she had finished with forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know this is a little short, but it certainly takes the whole story in a different direction. As I’ve said many times I enjoy angst and this chapter has a whole lot of it!  
> *TW*  
> As you might of guessed from the title, there is Self Harm. #sorrynotsorry

“Woah there specs!” Roman smirked, “I don’t think you’ve exercised that much since… well, ever!” Roman laughed loudly at his own joke.  
Lori quickly wiped away her tears and tried to keep her voice from shaking.  
“I apologize Roman, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Lori looked up, expecting to meet Roman’s gaze, but he had already lost interest, looking around for any adventures to enbark upon.  
“I shall be on my way then,” Lori whispered turning swiftly away.  
“Woah! Where do you think you are going?! You never answered my question.” Roman focus had zoned back in on Lori.  
“....Question?”  
“I asked why you were running so fast,” Roman stated matter of factly, sighing dramatically when Lori didn’t immediately respond.  
“You… never asked me anything?” Lori was very puzzled, was this another behavioral thing she didn’t understand?  
“Just answer!” Romans patience was wearing thin, he was itching to move on from the logical trait as he never provided any means for excitement.  
“None of your business.” Lori said, regretting it quickly as Roman eyes grew large as a fiery passion embeds in them.  
“My, my, our very own Logan. Harboring a mysterious secret.”  
“Roman, I am not part of your ridiculous adult make-believe. Please… just let me pass.” Lori was hiding her true emotions with a thin veil of fake exasperation.  
For once she was actually thankful for her superior acting abilities.  
“For once, can’t you just go along with it?!” Roman cried furiously, “Is your only purpose to bring us down?! Fine, I’ll leave you alone you… heartless machine.” Roman knew his last comment was a low blow, but all he asks for is Logan to go along with his ideas once! Roman stalked out, blissfully oblivious to amount of hurt he had just caused one of his closest friends.  
Lori’s breathing had gone erratic, and her eyes swam with tears. The pain was back, sharper than before, and she slowly dropped to her knees. She knew running couldn’t make this stop, only one thing could.  
_Do it!_ A voice in her head whispered, _it would make you feel so much better!_  
Lori looked around slowly taking in her surroundings. She was in a hallway with a door at the end, which Roman had slammed, and a few closets scattered around.  
_No one would see you._  
That much was true, the others would come looking for another hour or so, and it would take them about two more to find her here.  
Frowning she reached into her pocket, until she found what she was looking for. A needle, it was small, and nondescript except the point was stained red.  
_But I haven’t for so long…_ she tried to reason with herself, but the pain won out. She had to stop it, and this was the only way she could. So she reached down to her pants, slowly lifting them up to reveal her heavily scarred legs. She never cut her arms, so scared that the others would find out, but she would roll up her pants every night for years. Cutting was the only way for release.  
“How bad were you today Logan?” She shuddered spitting out her given name like poison, “How many times did you mess up? You called yourself Lori multiple times, you told Virgil you were a f*cking girl, you flirted with him you disgusting creature! You made so many mistakes, countless mistakes.” Lori tears increased as she moved the needle to her leg.  
She quickly pressed it down, and relaxed as she felt it sting. She relished the pain, sweet, sweet pain. Endorphins, and dopamine were released and Lori basked in the numbness coming from her one small cut, but then, all too soon, it was over. She wanted more, so she cut again. And again. And again. Soon her calf was covered in blood, and she lifted up the pin for the last time. Slowly she looked down at the bloody mess she made.  
“This is your punishment.” Lori whispered to herself, “For telling Virgil. Never tell any of the others. Never again. Or you deserve to be punished again.”  
She rolled down her pants again, covering up her wounds. She wanted to say this wash one time thing, a mistake, but she knew, somehow, cutting would become a habit for her once more. Pushing that thought back Lori got up, ready to search for Princey, and apologize for her unsportsmanlike actions.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! The angst! I honestly didn’t expect this turn, but I was writing and idea came to me... sorry for the angst, and I promise it will get better....... eventually. *evil laughter*


	5. Pact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months have passed and Lori isn’t getting better, until one visit from Virgil changes everything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear through the angst and there is fluff I swear!  
> *TW*  
> Self harm  
> Blood

Lori shut herself in her room, it was no longer a place of calm, but a place were her worst fears would haunt her, she couldn’t let the others in without telling them, and that would mean more punishments. And she wouldn't let Virgil in because he would take the needle away, her only form of happiness. She sobbed quietly, spiraling down into the dark depths of depression. She had to be there for Thomas, and the others, but she couldn’t face them. So this time she stayed, numbing the pain when it overwhelmed her. That was the routine, for weeks. Virgil would sometimes force his way in to check on her, but she would smile brightly, and laugh and joke. He would relax, and sometimes rant about his own problems, and Lori took them, even though every one of his problems would add to the rock crushing her chest, she knew this was something she could actually do right. She smiled at the memory of when Virgil first found her, she was really happy then, she had shown him her fear, and he got her through it, but now she was too far. That was until Virgil found her again.

“Lori?” Virgil opened the door slowly.  
It was almost midnight when he heard a large bang coming from the logical traits room. Then he saw her, she was unconscious in a pile of blood, Virgil’s stomach churned at the sight.  
“Lori!” He could hardly contain his panic.  
She was wearing a skirt with a small needle in her hand. The skirt was short, and showed off her legs, Virgil glanced at them and quickly looked away. They were a terrible sight, small and large scars covered them completely, and there was hardly any unmarked skin left. Some scars were dark, and healed from years past, while others were red and still bleeding from not an hour ago. Virgil forced himself to turn his attention to those ones. With little difficulty, he created a small first-aid kit. Slowly he cleaned the wounds and bandaged them, stopping when Lori winced in pain. After a few minutes Virgil sat back, satisfied with his work. He decided it was time for a talk with the logical facet.  
“Lori” He shook her.  
She grumbled, turning over.  
“Lori, please wake up.” He fought to keep his voice low.  
“Virgil?” Lori sat up, her eyes unfocused.  
“Hey…” Virgil whispered awkwardly, not only was he terrible at taking these kind of serious talks, he had no experience giving them.  
“What time is it?” Lori swallowed thickly, grabbing a blanket to cover her legs, as if Virgil hadn’t seen them.  
“Around one…”  
“So, what is it?” Lori asked.  
Virgil raised his eyebrows sceptically.  
“You should have told me you cut…” He moved his hand to lift up Lori’s chin, she hesitantly met his gaze.  
“I couldn’t… you already had so much going on…” She whispered.  
“Oh god.. I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have pushed that all on you, that was my mistake.” Virgil looked down guilty, “It was just, you were such a good listener, I should have guessed something was up…”  
“How could you have known.” Lori said, glad the topic had shifted away from her.  
Virgil silently rolled up his sleeves, showing vertical cuts running up and down both his arms.  
“That’s how.” He didn't look up.  
“Virgil!” Lori cried with concern, “Why would you do that?!”  
Virgil lifted up his eyebrows once more, as Lori realized her own hypocrisy.  
“Right… sorry.”  
“How long?” Virgil asked.  
“I started when Thomas was around sixteen…” Lori started.  
“What?!” Virgil yelled, no longer containing his voice.  
“Shh!Be quiet!” Lori whisperer shouted, “I did from when he was sixteen to eighteen. Those were the worst years, he was finishing high school, had his first boyfriend, but was still in the closet, and I had no idea how to be happy, or even function without... that…” Lori motioned in the general direction of the needle, Virgil looked at it, but made no effort to take it away.  
“When did you start again?” Virgil asked quietly after the conversation lulled.  
“About…” Lori looked down.  
How long _had_ it been? The days, weeks, months that recently passed had all drifted together...  
“Three months?” Lori guessed, that seemed about right…  
“Are you trying to stop?” Virgil questioned, his voice wasn’t unapproving or hopeful, it was simple question begging for a simple answer.  
“No. Are you?” She responded.  
“I’ll try if you try…”  
Lori looked up, contemplating. She knew quitting an addiction was always easier with a partner and all she wanted was to be happy again, maybe Virgil could help supply that... A warm feeling slowly spread across her chest.  
Hope.  
“Okay, I’ll try my best, if you promise to do the same.”  
Virgil looked relieved, and sank out promising he would be back in just a second. Lori took this time to look around her room, it was a mess. Books were sprawled across the room from occasional nights where she was filled with rage. Her lamp was also smashed on the floor, Lori winced as she remembered clearing it up without any protection, cutting her hands severely. Suddenly with a whoosh Virgil synced back into her room.  
“Take this…” he said, sounding conflicted.  
Lori turned to see him holding a rusty blade.  
“Is that what you used…?” She whispered in mild horror.  
“Yup.” He laughed hollowly.  
“One moment,” Lori said, regaining her composure.  
She conjured up two small boxes, with a large locks.  
Lori picked up her needle, locking it in one and handing it to Virgil. Then she took the the blade and sealed it in the other box, locking it as well. She then set it in an empty drawer in her desk, locking this also with a new key that had appeared on the necklace she always wore.  
“Double protection.” She announced, looking up.  
“Wow.. you do not mess around, do you?” Virgil whistled softly.  
“Guess not.” Lori giggled, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders, “Thank you…” she said softly, glancing at Virgil with a look that could only be described as adoring.  
“You made me feel better than have in weeks,” She continued “Just from this one visit. I know you’re going through crap too… so thank you for trusting me. I’m willing to give this my best effort. I hope you are too.” Lori looked up, blushing at Virgil’s intense stare. He looked like he was going to respond, but instead he did something unexpected.  
He kissed her.  
Virgil kissed her! His lips were soft and sweet, and for a second Lori just stood there, frozen in place. Until she kissed back. She tilted her head and melted into him, putting her hands around his waist, pulling him as close as she could. For a few blissful seconds they stayed like that, until Lori pulled away.  
“I don’t understand…” she spoke quickly, still searching for breath.  
“Me either,” Virgil said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Lori smiled fondly at the nervous tick.  
“I mean I thought I was gay!” Virgil laughed, then his eyes darkened, “Guess not” he smirked, moving to kiss her again.  
It took all of Lori’s willpower to resist, but she did pull away.  
“What is it?”Virgil pulled away as well, “Didn’t you want that? Sh*t. I’m so sorry! I thought you- cause you know- you seemed to like it… before?” Virgil stuttered over his words, moving between a tone of panic and confusion.  
“I want this. I really do!” Lori sighed, “but I want to sort through all my feelings first… you know I’m not the best with emotions and this is uncharted territory for me. I want make sure this would be the best thing.. for both of us. Do you understand?”  
“Yeah.. I guess.” Virgil whined.  
He realized his hand was still resting on her hip, and he pulled it quickly away as if it had been burnt. Slowly he turned to the door, picking up the small box with Lori’s needle inside. He would have to hide this somewhere safe.  
“Wait, before you go. I just want you to know no matter what I will always love you, okay Virge?” Lori piped up.  
“Yeah Lo... I love you too, or whatever..” Virgil’s cheeks burnt at the admission and he left the room with a small lopsided smile.

He knew that wouldn’t last for long and the anxiety from his impulsive decision would soon kick in, but for now he radiated a calm happiness.

Maybe, just maybe for once he could trust things would go the right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I told you there was some fluff! Also this is my first attempt at romance (and I’m a sad single patato and always will be) so please excuse any possible wierd or crappy writing in that section. If that is all I shall bid you adu! Peace ✌️ <3


	6. Delete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori figures out her feelings for Virgil, but comes across a much worse situation when she visits him in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so kind of another shorter one, it also has a lot of angst... no better way to start off 2018 than with angst! Happy new year everybody.  
> -TW-  
> Self-deprecating thoughts  
> panic attack (sort of)  
> Suicidal thoughts 
> 
> (please forgive me)

For the first time in her life Lori was stuck with indecision. 

Having an intimate relationship with Virgil wasn’t logical, they were two parts of a whole, it would ruin their friendship, and with amount of emotional trauma they are both experiencing, it had the possibility of becoming an extremely unhealthy relationship. 

Yet every time Lori thinks about his lips on hers she burns with a desire for more… now she has allowed herself to think about him in this new way, she can’t get her thoughts away from him. His asymmetrical smile, the way his hair is messed up in the mornings, his dark brown eyes that almost look black, and his meticulous routine for putting on makeup, just to make it look like he didn’t even try. The more she thought about it the more she realized how crazy she was about him. Of course she knew the chemical formulas of love, but she never thought she would experience them. Now she thinks back she remembered how her pupils dilated when he entered a room, and how her pulse sped up whenever he would smile at her.

“Crap, I really am a girl…” Lori whispered to herself fondly, repeating the line Virgil would say whenever she did something especially uncharacteristic. 

She looked at the small clock next to her bed, it read 9:05 in flickering blue letters. Lori silently scolded herself for staying up all night, and rolled out of bed, deciding the few minutes of sleep she could get wouldn’t be worth it. Plus she couldn’t wait to proceed into a romantic relationship with Virgil. 

Taking a reassuring breath Lori knocked on the black, and purple door. She had never been in Virgil’s bedroom before, sure she saw his version of the living room, but never his bedroom. So as Lori opened the door she scanned the contents of the room. It was both exactly what she was expecting, and not. The walls were different shades of gray, and there were various band posters hanging around. There was two purple doors at the back wall, which she presumed were the ensuite bathroom, and closet the sides all had. The bed was by far the strangest aspect of the room. It was placed in the middle, as far away from the walls as possible. It also had enough stuffed animals and blankets stored on it to rival Patton’s and Roman’s beds combined. 

“Virge…?” She whispered anxiously.

Lori hated the way Virgil’s room affected her. All the rooms had auras, but his was by far the worst. 

“Hey…” he whimpered, his voice drifting from below the blankets.

“Are you okay?” Lori crept closer.

“‘I’m… not great.”

Lori smiled proudly at Virgil admittance.

“Thank you for telling me Virgil, do you mind if I come closer…” Lori asked calmly, already taking small steps towards the bed. Virgil popped his head up from the blankets, his eyes were bloodshot.

“Oh hey Lo.” 

Lori cringed at the nickname, it was the one Patton always used, short for Logan.

“Sorry,” Virgil words were slurred, almost as if he was drunk. “Forgot you don’t like that one..” He smiled stupidly, staring off into the distance. Lori furrowed her brows, this was nothing like any anxiety attack Virgil has had before. Something was off, she could feel it.

“So, what’s up?” Lori asked, pausing slightly at the informality of her words.

She sat on the bed, making it dip slightly, and Virgil looked up surprised as if he hadn’t seen her.

“I was talking to Roman…” He started, and Lori slowly wrapped a comforting arm around him except her blood was boiling

_ What did that… what did he do today?  _ She thought angrily, almost missing what Virgil was actually telling her.

“We got into another fight, he wanted to ask out some guy… I told him it was too soon, and he just flipped out. I know I hold Thomas back, but it hurts more to hear him say it… you know.” Virgil still kept his sense of chilling calm throughout the speech. 

“Virgil? You’re so important to Thomas, you know that right?” Lori bit her lip in concern.

He just shrugged. 

“I was just thinking… maybe Thomas would be better without me..”

“No! Virgil you know what happens when you duck out, Thomas becomes an absolute sirhead. A cotten-headed niggymuffins! You are here for a reason, you make us better!” Lori cringed when she accidentally quoted Roman, but Virgil eyes were distant, he had seemingly not heard a word she said. 

“If I duck out then I’m still there… i’m just not doing my job, but if i were to disappear completely…”

Lo’s forehead creased in confusion before her eyes widened in realization. 

“Virgil! No! Please tell me you didn’t do anything stupid Virge! Virgil?!” Lori looked up at him expectantly, bu he just giggled hysterically. 

“You know it’s pretty funny if you think about it, I suffered for this long and the answer was so simple..” He muttered half-heartedly.

Lori bit on her lip harder, almost drawing blood. 

“I’m getting you out of here.”

Virgil faintly felt a hand grabbing his arm. Slowly his vision tunneled until the last thing he saw was tears streaming down the face of Lori…

_ Why is she crying?  _ He thought absentmindedly before passing out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First cliffhanger of 2018 guys! Woohoo!
> 
> BTW this chapter is called 'Delete' because I was listening to the song Delete by Underwaterbeats on repeat while writing this. It's not a sad song or anything, in fact it's really upbeat, but I thought I could be an appropriate title, and a little easter egg thingy. (You should check out the song, I understand it's not for everyone, but I like it)
> 
> Alright, peace everybody :D


	7. Toxic Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori desperately tries to help Virgil, but she knows she can’t do it alone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’m back! I wish I could give a full explanation of why I was gone, but it involves other people and some personal stuff so I'll just say the last few months weren’t the best and I’m sorry I haven’t uploaded...   
> Anyway I really hope you enjoy the chapter, I’m fairly happy with it, and it’s over 1000 which is my goal for new chapters.   
> Also I have a friend who does poetry stuff and she has some poems up on AO3 and I personally think they are awesome (though I may be a bit biased) so you should check them out as unfortunately not many people have come across them.  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13079742/chapters/29921823  
> Okay I’ll stop blabbing, enjoy :)  
> -TW-  
> Vomit  
> Suicide attempt (not too graphic)  
> Swearing  
>  Kind of internalized Transphobia...  
> Angst >:)

Lori expected to struggle with the weight of Virgil, but with adrenaline coursing through her veins she grabbed him violently and immediately sunk out. As soon as they appeared in her room Virgil, who was still unconscious, retched. The smell of bile filled the room, usually Lori would have flinched at that, but it just increased her terror. She never learnt much on poisons or anything of that sort, and now she is kicking herself for that. She knew vomiting was a reaction to rid the body of toxins, which terrified her.

“Virge?!” He coughed groggily, and Lori bit her lip again.

“Virgil!” She repeated.

He opened his eyes, but they were unfocused and unmoving.

Lori bit on her lip harder, this time she tasted iron as blood trickled down from her lip, she cursed silently wiping off her chin absentmindedly.

“C’mon Virge, stay with me…” Tears pricked at her eyes, she couldn’t lose him, not now, not like this.

His gaze shifted lazily towards her before moving back to the ground.

He’s hardly even registering anymore. F*ck f*ck f*ck! He’s going to die, without ever knowing I love him… Horrible thoughts forced themselves through her mind, they almost felt like physical punches. I can’t leave him alone, but I need to find what he did…

Lori cringed as she realized her own viable course of action.

“I have to get the others…” Lori whispered to herself, a weight pushed into her chest, it felt as if she had swallowed a boulder.

She wasn’t ready to come out to the other sides, but she couldn’t do anything else.

Do for Virgil, she thought, trying to force some confidence into her voice.

Lori pushed a kiss onto Virgil's brow, the salty taste of sweat in invading her mouth. She threw off her wig, and griminced at her extremely feminine outfit before rushing towards the door. 

“L-Loriii” Vigil slurred.

Lori spun around, a nauseating fear creeping up on her.

“I have to go get the others, I need to identify what toxin you took, and I can’t leave you alone.” She tried so hard to keep her voice level, but she couldn’t.

After years of avoiding her emotions she had finally let herself indulge in them, and now she couldn’t go back.

“Butttt Lorii you’re not dressed…” Virgil looked up wildly, it would have been comical if the situation wasn’t so serious.

“I know,” her voice cracked “I’ll be back.”

Lori slipped out of the room, and wiped at her cheeks. She mildly surprised at how wet they were. She sprinted towards Roman’s room without thinking, running full speed, and nearly falling as she suddenly stopped at the door. She opened it and rushed inside slamming it violently behind her.

This is his fault! He only ever thinks of himself! He should be the one suffering, not Virgil. Cruel thoughts sprung up in Lori’s mind

“Roman!” She practically growled.

“Logan, I’m here!” He called dramatically exiting the bathroom, “What do you need my logical friend.”

His back was turned to her, shuffling some papers on his desk. Lori’s eyes widened. He couldn’t see her like this, she wasn’t ready.

Nonononononono her brain yelled.

Lori squeaked, losing her nerve. She backed up against the wall… she couldn’t tell them, they would hate her.

“Logan, I said what do you need,” he clicked his tongue impatiently.

He turned slowly, rolling his eyes.

“Loga-” he froze.

Lori realized just how strange this must have been for him. Seeing someone he had known from birth, acting like their complete opposite. Wearing a dress, with makeup, and tears running down their cheeks. Oh god, this really was a mistake.

“Oh my god, Logan!” Roman sprung into action, choppily moving towards Lori, void of his usual elegance.

Lori pressed further into the wall.

“Are you okay? What happened? Why are you dresse- never mind… just.. let me get Patton.”

A twinge of guilt registered in Lori’s chest as worry coated every word.

“R-R-Roman w-wait,” Lori stuttered.

“What is it?” Roman spun on the spot, his eyes soft and comforting, Lori had to look away.

“V-Virgil. He needs help…” Lori looked up at Roman, whose eyes where now squinted, he looked confused before rolling his eyes with slight anger, and disdain.

“He’s fine.” Roman announced dismissively “But you obviously aren’t, I’m worried Lo… you haven’t been yourself lately.”

Lori just felt confused.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? Virgil’s hurt. You have to look after him while I get Patton.” She tried again desperately, feeling valuable time slip away.

“He’s just being over dramatic like always,” Roman sighed, “he doesn’t need us all coddling him”

“You’re the one being over dramatic! God, what the hell is wrong with you?! A member of your family is hurt and you’re standing there, arguing with me!” Lori spat, feeling fury bubbling up inside her.

“I already told you he’s fine!!” Roman screamed.

Lori could almost feel her self-control snap.

“NO HE ISN’T!! HE HASN’T BEEN FOR YEARS! AND YOU CAN’T LEAVE HIM ALONE CAN YOU?! YOU CAN’T LET HIM BE HAPPY! YOU WERE NEVER SUPPORTIVE OF HIM, SHRUGGING OF HIS F*CKING MENTAL ILLNESSES, LAUGHING AT HIS DREAMS!! HE NEEDS A LOVING FAMILY, AND ALTHOUGH ME AND PATTON ARE NOT PERFECT WE ARE A HELL OF A LOT BETTER TO HIM THAN YOU EVER WERE!!” Lori shrieked, waves of anger wafted off of her.

She stopped, breathing heavily.

Roman silently stared at her, all his anger had been replaced by guilt, and then fear.

“You don’t care who you hurt as long as you get your way do you? You have never loved us the way we loved you, Roman Sanders. Never. Now Virgil is in my room, and he needs help.” She sighed, rubbing her temples.

“He’s really hurt. I’m scared, Roman.” She admitted quietly, anger quickly waning replaced by the exhaustion, fear she had been trying to fight against.

“I’m terrified. I don’t know how to help him. I don't, I can’t lose him.”

Roman’s eyes went wide.

“Oh god. Oh god. Is he going to be okay?” He asked frantically, as if the idea that Virgil may really be hurt had just occurred to him.

Lori looked up, she desperately wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t...

”I don’t know”

“But he’s not going to- to… die” Roman whispered cringing at the end of his sentence.

Lori tears increased.

“Logan?!”

Lori saw tears collecting in the prince's eyes.

“..I-I don’t know.”

Roman looked faint.

Suddenly he barreled down the hall, nearly wiping out as he got to Lori’s door. He burst in and Lori heard a cry of desperation and horror. Lori hovered, watching as Roman popped his head back out of the door.

“Why are you just standing there?! Get Patton!” He yelled.

Lori had completely forgotten about Patton and with a slight sense of dread she leapt down the hall.

“And Logan?”

“Yes?” She asked, spinning on her heel.

“We’re going to talk about… whatever this is later.” Roman said quickly and matter-of-factly, motioning to her outfit, and makeup.

”Right…” she whispered, turning white.

Could this day get any worse? She asked herself, sprinting to Patton’s door.

The answer was yes, yes it could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the angst is back! Woohoo! Hope you enjoyed I’m already working on the next part so expect it in 1 to 2 weeks (yay productivity). And for those who missed my paragraph long rant in the intro notes, please actually check out these poems by my amazing friend AR   
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/13079742/chapters/29921823


	8. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori runs to find Patton, but is greeted with a darker side instead, with a dark plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEy. *ahem* Welp, I’m back, after way too long to continue this story. I really love Lori, but I just haven’t had inspiration or a direction for her, BUT now I do, and I’m excited about where this can go, even if it wasn’t my original plan. Okay that’s all for now I really hope you enjoy!   
> TW  
> I’m not sure what TW labels to put, just know this chapter is pretty dark.

Lori ran to Patton’s bright door, her drowsy eyes adjusting to the light. She knocked once. 

“Pat?”

Twice.

“Patton!!”

A third time.

“Patton! Morality! Pat! Where are you?!”

She slammed her fist on the door, and it slowly creaked open. She heard a quiet cynical laugh… 

She took a step forward into the doorway. 

“Patton?” Her voice quivered, “Is that you?”

A quiet click was amplified in the silent room, as the door closed behind her. She jumped and hesitantly went further inside and was greeted by pitch black. 

“I've been expecting you.” 

Lori gaped at the scaled man before her

“Deceit” she hissed

“Lori… how nice to finally meet you” 

“H-how-?”

“My specialty is secrets my dear… you didn't think I'd find out” he laughed villainously, standing from the chair he had been sitting on. 

“What did you do with Patton you monster!” Her voice shook with rage. 

“My my my, quite a little temper you have...he's safe, for now. Unlike your little lover boy, I hope the medicines “patton” gave him weren't too strong..” Deceit spoke in a wicked drawl, the end of his mouth curling up at the end of his little speech.

“W-what? He didn't take them himself” Lori shook her head trying to comprehend all these new developments.  

“No he was trying to be all brave, for you. It made the process a lot more fun… well for me,” Deceit chuckled, “trying to be brave, the idiot, kept whimpering about ‘Lori! Lori’” Deceit voice morphed into  Virgil ’s, but it was pitched at a high plea, Lori shook with anger, “quite pathetic.”

Lori shook her head, “But he said- Roman- Ro yelled at him… why would he lie?”

“He didn't,” Deceit adjusted his gloves pointedly, as if Lori’s presence didn't affect him at all, “I changed his memories, useful trick, I can do it on Thomas as well as of course, but I can’t make up scenarios completely… but I’ve recently found out my range on the sides memories is a lot more… free.” His eyes darted to Lori on the last word, before focusing on the trivial task on adjusting his jacket now. 

Lori jumped at him, snarling, but her legs stopped moving midway, making her flail and fall ungracefully. 

Deceit laughed again, “Can’t attack me,” he sang sweetly, but cackled afterwards. 

“Why not?” Lori snapped, wiping at her mouth, which was now dripping blood slowly. 

She got up quickly, and bore her eyes into deceit, in what she hoped was a menacing way.

“Thomas” Deceit smiled, taking a dramatic pause before continuing, “You see I have to protect him from himself, cushion his life with happy lies… now two sides fighting is something he hasn’t imagined, and it will hurt him, you see there’s the loophole, you can't hurt me because it’ll hurt him, but I can hurt you… if I want to.” 

“You bastard” Lori spat at him, “You sadistic bastard,” 

“Well everyone has a dark side,” Deceit moved over to Lori, his moves where swift, and ironically, snakelike.

The dark side smiled at the light one, and brushed her cheek softly. Lori shuddered and pulled away. 

“Oh, yes, this will be a lot of fun.” He breathed into Lori’s ear, gripping her arm to make sure she stayed put, “Let’s hope you can save your little boyfriend, because he has the first clue.”

“Clue?” Lori questioned.

“Yes, find them all and your sickeningly sweet little Patton goes free…”

“If not?” Lori asked hoarsely.

“I change his memories, make him believe that in a fit of anger he murdered you all… should that be torturous enough? Or maybe I’ll just tell him the truth… that you were his only hope and you failed… and he will be stuck alone without you or the prince or your anxious little babe, again.”

Lori felt his stomach twist and turn, as Deciet’s grip on her tightened. 

“Oh and I’ll have to kill him in a bit of course,”

Lori’s free arm swung at Deceit angrily, but it froze and dropped halfway through the action. Deceit laughed, and went up to her ear again,

“Good luck” He smiled, before suddenly pushing his tongue against Lori’s ear licking it harshly. 

She gasped and pulled away, this time successfully, as Deceit had quickly sunk out. Lori wiped her damp ear, and her chest tightened as she remembered the thin, hooked, tongue sliding inside it. She stood for a few seconds before catching her breath and then sobbed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof...

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, like, subscribe <3


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